Updated: Jan 4, 2021

Around 8:30 a.m., my bedroom door swung wide open as I turned around to see my husband, Dennis, coming in unexpectedly. He walked fast toward me, hugged me real tight, and started to sob. For the first time knowing him for six years, I felt his pain as he cried uncontrollably. I did no less. After a few minutes, he went into the bathroom to change. We hardly said anything to each other while driving to our mom’s home.

Dennis came home 30 minutes before planned. He was out on a business trip, but when he got the call in the middle of the night that our mom has passed away around 1:30 a.m. on Tuesday, December 15, 2020, he drove home six hours straight from Sunnyvale, California. What went to his mind for those long commute hours? I wish I was there with him!

Mom didn’t have time to say goodbye to all her loved ones, or did she choose to go quietly?

As we were approaching mom’s home, we saw our three sisters strolling on the same streets that mom took almost every day when she was well. I got emotional. As soon as we parked our car, I came out and hugged each sister. I cried so much with them. Their loss is no less than mine because mom was more than a mother-in-law to me.

When we got to mom’s home, the paramedic already took her to the hospital for checkups. We stayed there for a few hours. Our youngest sister, D confided to us about mom’s condition that we didn't know. She said that mom acted strangely lately for she lost interest in decorating her house for Christmas. There were times, she caught mom staring at her for a period of time. She felt mom wanted to tell her something, but she didn’t want to. She kept telling D that she didn’t want her to go to work. She wanted D to stay with her 24/7. Mom knew her days were coming closer, but she didn’t let anyone know. She was afraid of going to stay in the hospital. She repeatedly said she wanted to die at home. She got her wish!

In retrospect, I feel so sad for our mom deali